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PHENOMENAL WOMAN
by Maya Angelou
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing of my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can’t see.
I say
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
The palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
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 As Above so Below: Courtesy Studio 4 Gallery 2009
What if I really took complete responsibility and accepted that I am the chief architect in creating and holding in place everything that is going on in my life, good, bad or indifferent? What if I truly begin to believe that the state of my consciousness is the most powerful influence to change that? What if I also acknowledged that there are stuff (people, situations, conditions) in my life that fall in categories ranging from ‘oh-I-don’t-really-care-for-that’ going all the way down to ‘I-hate-that’ and ‘that-must-be-squashed-killed-driven-out-banished-from-my-life’? What if I took to heart that I purposely put those things there, so I could evolve on a fast track?
Would my life look different? Feel different? Something to ponder upon, really. I did.
I noticed that Johnny Doolittle with whom I have been really mad for what feels like a century, because he is sooooo negative, downright lazy and will of course never ever change, is now winking at me with the question dancing in the air ‘have you ever been lazy and negative? And have you forgiven yourself for it?’
And that job that I reluctantly drag myself to every Monday morning (gotta pay my bills, you know), the one that suffocates me with the deadlines, timelines, reviews and my monster boss breathing down my neck? Why did I put that there? My inner guide descends from some esoteric realm, stands leaning on the doorpost, cool as a cucumber and says, “Good question, kid. At last you are learning to ask the right ones. Now just wait for the answer.”
The answers are bitter pills to begin with. I never trusted my creative expression. Not for a moment did I let myself believe what I really love doing can and will pay my bills. I let someone else take the risk and the responsibility. I was willing to tag along, toe the line. Everyone needs a job, that’s what people do and so did I and worked hard for others. Become a slave to someone else’s creative organization. And now my spirit is suffocatiing and pleading me to get out. Deep breath.
That I am still here must mean I have yet to prepare myself to take that responsibility. My spirit is standing by, reminding me everyday that’s what I must do…….. that’s what I must do. Meanwhile I am so grateful to the folks I work for that they take the risk, they create a place where I can come and give my hours in exchange of my rent and other bills. One of these days, I have promised myself, I will be working at a place that I enjoy. I am getting ready.
And what about this relationship? What about this partner of mine who was going to make me happy on all counts, support and love me forever? Why do we keep getting into these unpleasant entanglements? Why am I still here? Why do I hang on to him, and he to me? It’s old habit, you say? No?
Old habit, may be, but when did I lose sight of love. I made him such a part of me that now I take him for granted every moment, as I do my hands and feet. My eyes and teeth. When he shovels the snow, paints the basement, replaces the window, fixes the furnace ….. oh of course he is suppoed to do that, isn’t he the guy? But why won’t he also do all this other stuff which really I would like to do but don’t have the guts, the conviction or the wherewithal to go and do by myself? Like learning to dance…….. I’d leave in a heartbeat but for the fact thet he pays half the mortgage and I don’t make that much money.
The truth I am trying to accept here is that I am solely responsible for creating this too. Aaaaargh!!!
And how would I change it if I lose sight of love? Isn’t that the juice? My inner guide is still leaning on doorpost snickering away, “You are getting it, kid, don’t stop now!!”
Hmmm. Through the eyes of love again then, I guess, it is time to see it all through the eyes of love. Nothing and no one can be take for granted any more. Not their job to make me feel better. No one else is responsible. So thank you, and you and you and you. Thank you today for who you are, what you do and what you add to my life.
Thank you also for what feels like you are taking away without equally returning the favor. Thanks for the reminder. That I am still here must only mean I am utterly blind to the compensation, because I have so taken it for granted. Energies must necessarily be in some degree of balance in order to let the situation exist.
Whew!!! The head spins. Awareness is the first step to making changes. I am. I will. It is set in motion. It is my life and I am the creator.
Malabika
Your Energy Guide
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Now that is an old cliché. So I had thought for a long time -- an old cliché.
But that started to change when I began to dance the tango in earnest. This dance form, the South American version that is -- the social dance with the classical flavor -- is one of the best metaphors I have come across for relationships. Let me explain.
This dance is primarily a conversation between the partners. No words, just movements. Around a theme, typically provide by the music – just like a common factor that starts up any relationship. One starts the conversation, the other joins in and makes it engaging – whatever the level of that conversation maybe.
Simple. Aha… not so. That was my first lesson. Learning to listen. If one is not a good listener, particularly of the subtle moves, no conversation is about to ensue. Right? Also lesson one in Relationships 101 – listen first if you wish to connect. I really had to work hard on that and succeeded only when I released some old ideas and beliefs about dancing (read ‘relationships’).
Then there is this thing about the ‘axis’ – learning to be on one’s own axis, moving the axis, giving, shifting, holding and so on. During the entire dance one is always aware of the relationship of the two ‘axes’. To me this is about taking responsibility for ourselves in a relationship, and always being aware how my actions affect the other – pulling, pushing, controlling, leaning….. The call is neither to allow oneself to be carried, nor to push. Give and receive. Lead and follow. Initiate and respond. Don’t take over. The conversation then gets interesting. The partners will from time to time create a common axis, or weave around the others. The elegance is in the intricacies of these weaves.
When we create that relationship, new depths are revealed. One takes a new and complex turn. It may throw the other off for a moment, but herein is the challenge to grow and continue the conversation at a yet deeper level. As long as we listen, and remain tuned in to our connection, it is hard to go wrong. But that certainly won't take place if we are being sloppy, or lazy or unmindful. See any connection with relationships?
And as we continue, we learn to savor the dance as we do any precious relationship. It is inviting, fun, warm and invigorating. Sometimes passionate and alluring, one may take the conversation wherever one chooses to. And there is always more to discover. Make sure the music that both partners enjoy is still playing. If one tunes out, that would be the end of the conversation, the dance, the relationship.
If you are good at one chances are you'll be good at the other. As someone said, “tango is a three minute love affair”.
Tango anyone?
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The world has so much life to offer, rich and abundant. How much of it have we trained ourselves to receive? This is the question that I have been asking myself (and my clients). Here is what comes up.
Giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin, right? You have heard that before. And really for the most part we have little trouble giving. We are happy to give our time, effort, love, service and even much more. But when it comes to receiving, something goes awry.
Commonly there is one big problem and that is we define who I will receive from. And this becomes hugely limiting because this operates both as the necessary and sufficient condition.
Here’s how it works. ‘Here, let me help you out you poor needy thing, who does not have much; I have so much compassion for you and your lot; here take from me, my endless source; I love it that I can give to you. What, you want to give me something back in return? No, no, no, please don’t. You need that more than I do.’
Now is there anyhting wrong with the giving? No of course not. Giving is generous, magnanimous and noble. It is the corresponding part that is out of balance — the refusal to receive. Think of a time when someone offered you something and you refused to receive it — a meal, money maybe, a gift, a lift, a compliment, an opportunity or something else. And instead of just saying thank you, you said something else. Ask yourself the question, what is your belief that stops you from receiving this from this person. You are sure to find a bunch of beliefs and perceptions bordering on ‘ your stuff is not good enough, it’s too little, too much, I don’t deserve it, or I deserve more, you can’t afford it, etc. etc. and so forth.’ These are the limiting beliefs that keeps you from absorbing life in greater doses. It also keeps you comparing and separate from source.
The second part of this problem is probably even worse. We think we are ready to receive life in great abundance but we have decided who and where that will come from. So we tether our boat to this anchor and refuse to let go. We then complain how my determined source is diminishing my life — is negative, does not do much, does not pay attention, does not …., is not…., cannot …., will not…… etc.” Meanwhile the river of life is going by in abundant flow and we are missing it all. There is enough out there, maybe not where I am looking to receive from.
Takes courage to let go and let God, doesn’t it? So the question remains, how much am I really ready to receive? How large is my container, how strong, how elastic, how flexible, how free and most of all how courageous?
And as always it comes from the heart connection. Enjoy receiving.
Malabika Shaw.
www.VisionWholistic.net
www.SoulMagnificent.com
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Can’t do the same old things and think the same old thoughts and expect a different outcome, can you? As an Energy Healing Arts practitioner helping people over the years, the most important thing I have come to learn is that it is our thinking process that holds the greatest power.
Sometimes a person will show up with chronic depression, history of failures and low self esteem. The energy work we do together will work great. She (or he) will bounce out of the room all energized, gung ho and hopeful. But it does not last. Why? Because the person has become so grooved into seeing herself as a sick and powerless person that the mind automatically defaults into that position and perpetuates it.
This is the more challenging part of the healing process — training the mind to change, to assume another perspective, to let go of cynicism, to allow another possibility. Then and only then do we start to create the energetic vibrations needed to bring that change about.
So if you are ill, and define yourself by your illness, always talk about it, complain, freak out, blame, always looking for reasons to justify, wallow in self pity etc. etc. ……. expect to remain ill for a long long time. Similarly, if you are have a shortage of funds and are always complaining about the lack of money, and how you can’t do anything because you don’t have the money, envying folks who do, and blaming and so on……. expect the shortage to be your friend for a long long time.
If you want things to change in your life, something has to change in the way you perceive life and in your thoughts and your behavior. Therein lies the power to chnage.
And if you need some support as to how take a look at my Mentorship Program.
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Absolutely.
EFT as in Emotional Freedom Technique (not ‘electronic fund transfer’ for you finance types.)
There is just one little caveat. You must be able to establish a heart connection with the other person. That is why I find it works like magic between mothers and children.
Hear Michele’s story about her 6 year old. This is one of many she shared with me.
“Jake’s teacher called me and said he was coughing really badly at school. I had to go to town anyway so I stopped by and gave him a couple of shots of herbal throat spray and 2 Melaleuca cough drops. He did not want to come home.
We went out to eat that night and stopped at a park afterwards. He wasn’t coughing at all. He fell asleep about 8:15 and we were all in bed by 8:30! From 8:30 to 9:15 he hacked and hacked and hacked and never stopped. My husband finally tried to give him some throat spray and Jake kicked the walls and screamed and freaked out and refused the throat spray. He was SO TIRED!! Mark came back to bed completely irritated and said “Jake wants you.” He also refused to let me use the throat spray and when I tried to balance his energy he kept trying to kick my hands. I tried rubbing down his back along both sides of his spine to calm him down and he wouldn’t let me do that. As he was yelling I tried to tap on his collar bone meridian. He would not let me tap on him either. So, I just stood over him and said to myself “I am Jake” and started tapping on myself using 2 rounds of statements for his cough, irritation, and tiredness (I can’t stop coughing, I can’t sleep with this bad cough, my throat feels bad, I am so tired, etc). I then did 2 rounds of positive reframes (my throat is fine, I am healthy, I can go to sleep now, mommy is nearby, I am safe, etc.). After those 2 rounds he stopped kicking and screaming and was out like a light and he never ONCE coughed the rest of the night and he slept straight through until 7:00 am! Even I was completely shocked. I myself did not hold the belief that this would end Jake’s coughing but the EFT WORKED ANYWAY!!
Regardless to say, I am very excited! EFT has given this once frazzled and very tired mom a way to get more sleep and more peace!”
Interested in learning this technique? Check out this link.
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Always fun to hear testimonies directly as experienced. Here is Kim’s story.
Today I had my annual health assessment at Principal Financial Group. My company requires their employees to get these assessments once a year in order to give them discounts on their benefits. Basically it goes over cholesterol, triglycerides and blood pressure readings. My cholesterol and triglycerides are consistently AWFUL every year thanks in part to bad genes from my father and grandpa (they are both on cholesterol medication). Mine is bad enough I could qualify being on medication myself…..at least, that is what they tell me every year. Each year, my labs keep going higher and higher and I have 5-years of atrocious results in my health file to prove they’ve never gone down; only up.
Well, I receive the weekly EFT newsletter and I remember reading about a case of a man who used EFT to bring his cholesterol readings down and thought, “Well it can’t hurt as bad as mine are. I’ll give it a try.” So yesterday and this morning, I started tapping on the acupressure points saying the appropriate affirmations needed, imagining my cholesterol was really low while I tapped.
I also inherited high blood pressure from my father and grandpa as well. They are also on medication for this. If I exercise, my blood pressure is very good. But if I do not exercise, it shoots right up. It is VERY sensitive. The problem with my blood pressure today is I am just getting over a bad cough. And another thing that tends to affect my blood pressure is cold medicine. It also quickly raises my blood pressure (last week when I took my blood pressure after taking some over-the-counter medicine it was 133 over 95) I thought, there is no way I’m going to be able to get a good reading after taking my cough syrup this morning. So I did EFT tapping this morning to counteract any affects of my cold medicine. And even while the technician was taking my blood pressure, I visualized tapping on all my acupressure points saying to myself, “my blood pressure is within the normal range. It is 120 over 70.”
So what were the results? My blood pressure was 122 over 70. Pretty darn close to what I was telling my body. But sometimes I do have good blood pressure so I might be able to explain that away. But there is no way I can rationalize this next part…… My triglycerides dropped 45 points from last year. My bad cholesterol (LDL) dropped 60 points. My good cholesterol was great – they say that only marathon runners have that kind of HDH cholesterol. Let’s not forget I’m overweight so that’s working against me too. I haven’t changed my diet; I haven’t changed my exercise habits. The medical tech who went over my results also had all my prior years tests in front of her and she was shocked and wanted to know what I had been doing to change my numbers so drastically. Well, I just smiled and said that I’d be doing some alternate healing work and just left it at that (she had other patients waiting after all). Just when I was wondering if any of my tapping was doing any good. I feel I have the confidence to keep using EFT and experimenting with it for other things.
When it rains, it pours!
I am just getting over a bad cough. Its pretty deep in my chest. I ran out of antibiotics a couple days ago. So I was debating about going back to the doctor to get more. I know there are some lung issues going on already. Whenever I run outside in the cooler months, I notice it helps to develop a deep cough in me that shows up primarily in the mornings and evenings. Its been like this for several years. Most websites refer to this as exercise induced asthma. It only happens when I run outside and it’s cool. But on the flip side, I’ve had a couple medical intuitives tell me that while back, I inhaled something into my lungs that caused some damage (a chemical or molds). That doesn’t really surprise me – my old apartment building that I lived in always seemed damp (mold? Or who knows maybe lead paint or asbestos with it being an old building?) When lung cells are destroyed, they cannot be re-grown. Its just one of those things. Well since I got this bad cold and cough, the nagging deep cough has returned. I don’t know if my illness inflamed an already existing problem, or if I have scar tissue in there, or what’s going on but its been pretty bad lately since I’ve been sick. The antibiotics were helping but I ran out of those 3 days ago and so its been getting worse.
I was coughing so bad last night. I had no cough syrup to take and figured I keep Joe awake all night and had to try something before I went to bed. I used Reiki first on my lungs for healing. Then I used EFT to get rid of my nagging cough. And then using EFT, I ordered my body to start reproducing lung cells to return normal lung capacity and function. Even though medical science says it can’t be done (Matthew 19:26 Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”) Of course I also use prayer whenever I’m doing Reiki and EFT. I don’t do any of the healing modalities I’ve learned without prayer because…..well, I just don’t. These are healing tools from God so it only makes sense to include him in what I’m doing.
By the time I was done, I could tell something had happened. Instead of a wheezing in my chest, I felt this stillness in my lungs. And I never coughed again before going to bed. As always, I received confirmation in my dreams last night of what is happening. The entire dream was about snakes…..snakes around me and one even bit me. To most people, this dream might not mean anything. But snakes are a very powerful symbol of transformation and healing – think of a snake’s skin. Shedding of the old to make way for the new. And healing has often been associated with snakes (for instance, there’s the medical symbol of 2 snakes intertwined on a staff)
Today, I woke up and the constant coughing is gone. I have a very shallow, dry cough. Its certainly not the deep cough I had yesterday and I’m not doing it very much. Its not completely gone but it’s a very different feeling. The true test will be this evening as that is when my cough is typically the worst. But something definitely happened last night.
This is getting kinda fun! If I can do this with my body, then I should be able to do this with my finances. Its no different….only in my mind have I convinced myself its different. So perhaps I need to do some EFT to remove that programming.
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 Birthday gifts
There is something about birthdays that show up with zeroes at the end, kind of ominous. Another decade gone. And no matter how much one intellectually dismisses the thought around numbers, I found myself buying into the collective notoriety of life after 60 — the notion that I was running out of time, energy, ideas, life, what have you. Took a few days of deep contemplation to get over that.
When the birthday did show up it was all about the joy and fun. Though I joked that the gifts family and friends sent were all perishable in nature — flowers, wine, fruit and nuts, chocolate — (who knows how long she’ll last … or the wine and chocolates will certainly do her in!!), they came in plenty and with great love.
Now as the days go by a wonderful sense of serenity descends upon me. It feels great to be sixty. I feel good. I certainly have a greater sense of who I am than I did at 50. The running and chasing around to accomplish great things in life have sobered. It is easier to take a view ‘if it is not fun, I am not doing it’. Nice to know that no one else’s life will be critically impacted by my choices. Such a relief to let go of those codependencies. Each relationship is precious and heartwarming. None exist that is not welcome.
And a wonderful gentle relationship with the body seems to unfold. No longer do I need to make great demands of it — prove to myself and others that it is youthful or strong. Easier to let those notions go and instead shower it with gratitude that it serves me well. With acceptance its resilience and flexibilty grows and it will surprise me on a yoga morning by effortlessly assuming some complicated pose, or by dancing the tango without a break for hours. So I listen to it, take care of it and treat it well. It is the only one I have and will surely serveme another 30 years.
As I said earlier, turning sixty is highly recommended.
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To the folks who feel utterly frustrated, angry and helpless currently — “Remember, if the life you are leading has the resources to produce within you a specific desire, then the resources also exist for your full receiving, or manifestation, of that desire.” — Abraham
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I wrote this for you who have always been told that crying is weak and you should stuff it; for you who have thought there is great merit in stoicism and have mistakenly shut your hearts down; for you who have denied yourselves unknowingly the great opportunity of growth that comes from recognizing and accepting your vulnerability. For I have been one of you. Enjoy.
When the tears come rushing
Fight no more to hold them back
Cry
It is your heart calling
When you feel someone out there
Wronged you, failed you, left you,
Crossed you, hurt you, used you,
Cry
It is your power calling
Cry,
Not because you are angry or alone
Not because your power is gone
Not because your hopes are strewn
Cry because you feel
Your tender heart is calling out to life
Your spirit is alive pleading for more
Cry and lay bare your vulnerability
Let the tears fall like gentle spring rain
And wash away those old wounds
Open the floodgates and let your spirit in
Let the door to your heart open wide
For just beneath your heartache is your strength
Just beyond your vulnerability lies your power.
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